Forgive Yourself (Hinanami)
by Star Guardian Jinx
Summary: Hinata thinks of a way to bring Nanami back. Or at least, most of her. Short Hinanami oneshot. Please review! [I'm not good at descriptions for oneshots.]


Nanami's hand felt warm in his, as they walked past the glimmering gold fountain, gazing at the crystalline sunset that danced above the Hope's Peak Academy campus. The world was serene, the light chirp of songbirds filling the air with music and autumn leaves dancing in the wind. Cherry blossoms rained down from the sky, making the world feel magical, and Hinata cherished every moment of this stunning scene. Reaching up into the sky, he caught a blossom from the hair and tucked it into Nanami's pink hair, and a matching color filled her cheeks as she smiled up at him.

 _I could look at that smile forever_ , Hinata thought, staring at the gorgeous girl in front of him.

Nanami looked up at him from under her eyelashes, and Hinata was overwhelmed with the necessity to kiss her. Bending down, she noticed his intent and stretched up on the tops of her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck. She closed her eyes daintily, and pouted her lips in a loose smile.

The kiss was not like wild flames, but like a warm, pulsing fireplace on a winter night that filled all of Hinata's bones with a pleasant, tingling sensation and made him mad for more. After a few seconds, Nanami pulled away, smiling coyly. As she pulled away, her Galaga spaceship clip caught on Hinata's hair and fell to the ground. Hinata turned, bending to pick up the hairpiece and held it in his palm.

"It's your fault, you know," Nanami said from behind him, "It's all your fault."

Hinata spun around. "What?"

The scene had changed, and he and Nanami were in the dark underground lair of Enoshima Junko. Bright red blood seeped from her eye, her foot, her arm, her hand, and a thousand other tiny points on her body.

"It's your fault… that _I'm dead_ ," Nanami spoke, her eyes filled with madness, "You killed me Hinata… it's your fault… it's _all_ your fault."

"N-Nanami b-but I-"

"But what? You killed me! You murdered me! I thought you loved me, I thought you at least cared about me, but you murdered me! You killed me Hinata!" Nanami swung a punch towards Hinata, barely missing and sweeping through his suddenly long hair.

"No… I didn't! It was Junko! Nanami I-"

Nanami laughed harshly, "You think she would have been able to if you hadn't enabled her! You killed me, and you caused the deaths of everyone else too! My entire class! How could you?! I hate you!"

Nanami shoved Hinata, and he fell backwards, but he didn't hit the ground. He just kept falling, falling, and falling for eternity.

Hinata woke up covered in sweat, panting. He wasn't with Nanami. Nanami was dead. His hair was short. He was in his bed, in his Hope's Peak dormitory, and it had been two years since he'd seen Nanami- well, Nanami's AI -but every night without fail he still dreamt of her. He had tried his best to move on, not to forget her, but to cherish her memory and sacrifice by being happy, but he couldn't. She was the only girl he ever loved, and it was his fault she'd died. And she couldn't come back, not like the rest of them. He was blessed with every talent in the world now, but necromancy wasn't one of them.

Hinata glanced over at his clock, the red numbers blaring the time two thirty-two into his dark room. He dragged himself out of bed, knowing sleep would evade him, and walked through his dorm to his shower. He let the hot water run over him, dissolving the sweat that had appeared from the nightmare. Breathing heavily, he tried to clear the lasting pain from the dream and failed. He missed Nanami more than anything, and the main emotion he felt daily was a mix of guilt and grief.

He had enough talent in him that he could bring back everyone… except the one person who truly mattered. With life like that, what was the point? Hinata thought back to his time in the simulation, when Nanami was the only thing that kept him strong enough to defeat Enoshima's AI, and stop her from uploading herself into the real world. Wait. If Enoshima could upload herself into an AI, why couldn't he upload Nanami into a body?

Hinata hit the shower tap, turning it off, and rushed out of his shower, wrapping his towel around his waist. He rushed to his computer, which sat upon his desk, and hit the power button. He banged his fists on the hard wood surface as the computer turned on painfully slowly, looking at his red eye's reflection on the black screen. As soon as the computer turned on, he opened up the Alter Ego program and began to type. He typed, and typed, and typed, for hours on end until it was seven pm, two days after he had began, and he needed food. He paused for only a few minutes before returning to his program, his obsession turning him into a machine. He was going to bring her back. He had to.

Knock-knock-knock! Hinata ignored the sharp thuds upon his door. Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!

"We know you're in there." Kirigiri's voice sounded annoyed.

Hinata couldn't be bothered to look up from his program, too intent on bringing back Nanami. He hadn't slept, the bags under his eyes humongous, and he looked sickly from all the time he had spent staring at the screen, but he wouldn't stop until Nanami was back.

A sigh could be heard from Kirigiri, "We have the master key, we're just being polite. Let us in."

After a few moments, Hinata's door clicked open and in walked Naegi and Kirigiri. Kirigiri looked irritated, and Naegi looked concerned.

"You can't bring her back," Kirigiri stated.

Kirigiri's knowledge of the situation prompted Hinata to finally look up from his computer.

"I guess they don't call you the Ultimate Detective for nothing," he said flatly.

"Actually," Naegi replied, scratching the back of his head with an awkward smile, "we have access to every computer connected to the wifi. So the students can't look up explicit stuff, you know?"

Of course, since Naegi was headmaster now he'd be able to see what Hinata was doing. Hinata found it quite ridiculous that someone younger than him could have that power of him, but said nothing.

"You can't bring her back," Kirigiri repeated, "It is, quite simply, impossible. There is no body for her to be uploaded into."

"I can find one," Hinata replied with a shrug.

Kirigiri crossed her arms. "And how do you expect to do that? Take a random person off the street? Surgery her up to look like Nanami did? Have some human experimentation, like what lead to this mess in the first place? You haven't thought this through, Hinata."

"A robot would work. I can make a robot like her." Hinata shrugged once more.

"You'd never be satisfied, and we both know it. You want Nanami back, and no programmed robot can give that to you. This obsession-"

"It's not-"

"It is an obsession. You haven't even slept since you've started, unless you expect us to think you've been sleep-programming. This obsession of yours will never stop, and you'll never be satisfied with the pieces of Nanami you've brought to life. She's gone, Hinata. You've been moping around for two years, trying to hide the fact that you're still broken because of her, but you just need to accept it and move on. Nanami's gone, and she's not coming back."

Hinata broke down, tears streaming down his face. "It's just… it's all my fault. I loved her, and it's my fault she died. I just wanted to be better for her… I… I was so stupid, and I wanted to be better for her, worthy of her, so I… I fucked up, and everything in the entire world got messed up because of me, and she's gone because of me and I… I know I… I should forget about her, but I can't... I needed her. She changed th-things for me. Everything. I was… depressed… before I met her."

Kirigiri's eyes widened, not sure how to deal with this outpouring of emotion. Luckily, Naegi stepped forward, and attempted to calm Hinata (if somewhat awkwardly).

"Look, we're not expecting you to forget about her. But you dishonor her memory to spend your life moping over her. She would want you to be happy if she were here. I never met her, but I know she'd tell you to not waste your life. Honor her. Remember her. Cherish every memory you have of Nanami. It's okay to grieve over her, but not for two years. Live every second to the fullest, don't spend your life sulking over something you can't change. Live your best life… for her."

"I'm going to take the liberty to delete this program," Kirigiri said, frowning as she walked over to the computer.

"N-No… please…"

"It's what you need. It'd only cause you more pain to have a shadow of her," Naegi comforted Hinata.

Hinata cried in silence and shame as Kirigiri tapped on the keyboard, the work he'd done in the past forty-eight hours with his manufactured talent destroyed.

"I've gone a few things to attend to, Naegi, so I'll see you later, okay?" Kirigiri and Naegi shared a knowing look before she left, not too good at dealing with other's emotions.

"Sometimes you need to forgive yourself. I learned that the hard way. It's okay to… it is really okay to forgive yourself, Hinata. And you can't keep isolating yourself. All of us are here for you, you know. All of us."

And maybe, with the help of his friends, he could. Maybe not soon, but one day, he'd forgive himself.

 **Heh… this isn't my best work since I wrote it in like an hour and I'm not editing it but… whatever, I hope you liked it. Please review!**


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